


Suddenly I see

by Lizardbeth



Series: Music Like Magic [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Loki Angst, Pining, Teen Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 10:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1937730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardbeth/pseuds/Lizardbeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For years, Sif has been like a sister to Loki and Thor, until Thor and Sif take a surprising step together that leaves Loki stricken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly I see

**Author's Note:**

> for the tumblr quotation meme from hearts_blood "Loki/Sif, 'hey have you seen the... Oh." 
> 
> **Note**  
>  this is a prequel to the previous Loki/Sif smut fic "Kick off the Moss". This one is set YEARS before, when they're teenagers, before Loki and Thor form their band. So you don't need to read the other one. Just know that they're rich because Odin was in a very successful band in the 70's/80's called (of course) Asgard.

* * *

 

Loki moved the three books to look underneath and then again through the stack on the piano in case he'd missed it. But the piece he was supposed to learn for Monday wasn't anywhere.

"MOM!" he shouted. She'd told him a million times not to yell in the house, but he only ever remembered that after he'd yelled, because she always knew where his stuff was. She didn't answer though. He heard movement in the front hall and figured she'd come in the main door, so he headed out of the study and hurried to the foyer to find her. "Mom, hey, have you seen the…" His voice suddenly died in his throat, seeing that it wasn't his mother there at all. "Oh."

It was Sif. And not the usual Sif, tomboy in her jeans and ponytail ready to climb trees as she'd been most of his life, but a different Sif, who was wearing a dress.

It was not just any dress either but a short black dress with high heels, and the sight hit him in the chest. Because she'd always been just Sif before, and now dressed up she was suddenly a girl, and she looked amazing. She had long legs and a swell of breast that he'd seen but never _noticed_ before. And her black hair was shiny and loose on her bare shoulders, and her eyes were … huge. How had he never seen there was green in her eyes before?

He tried to greet her, his voice squeaked, and he had to clear his throat, feeling like a complete moron. "Hi, Sif. I didn't expect you. You look, um, different."

She gave a rather uncertain smile and tugged at the skirt. "I was kinda hoping for… nice? "Different" is what you say to people who look hideous."

"You don't look hideous," he hastened to tell her. "You look…" _Great_. _Amazing_. ' _Oh my God I'm going to die' good_. He could say none of those and settled on, "Good. Definitely nice. The dress is… different." _Oh God, did you have to say it again? Get your mind in gear, Odinson_. He cleared his throat. "I meant, unusual on you. Anyway, what's the special occasion?"

Her gaze slipped away from his, turning to look up the stairs. "Thor and I are going to the movies. Well, dinner, then that _Fast and Furious_ movie."

He couldn't catch his breath at this news, stunned. "Thor? You two are dating?" he asked. "When the fuck did that happen?"

"It's not a date," she said hastily but before he could have more than a second of relief, she laughed. "Well, I guess it is. I don't know. He broke up with Evelyn?" she trailed off as if to check that he knew about it.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I heard. At length. From him _and_ her. She wanted my help to get him back, and I asked her what she was willing to give me in exchange, and she hung up. Guess she wasn't _that_ interested."

Sif grinned. "You didn't!"

"Of course I did. She was just using him. Good riddance." He waved a hand, but then his levity died away, realizing that by fending Evelyn off from Thor, he'd left the door open for Thor to go out with Sif.

She laughed and shook her head at him. "Only you." Then seized by some impulse, she asked, "Do you want to go to the movie with us? I feel terrible that he didn't mention it to you. We can all go as friends." She looked a bit concerned that he wasn't taking this well.

Which he wasn't, but he tried to smile. It turned a bit rictus-like and he decided surprised was as good as she would get, because he couldn't quite manage happy about this. "No, no, that's okay. He knows I don't care about fast cars and dumb explosions." And he'd rather be boiled in fish oil than be their third wheel.

He should have seen this coming. _Of course_ , Thor and Sif would date - why wouldn't they? They were perfect for each other. And it wasn't like Loki had ever had a chance anyway; the only reason girls tended to acknowledge his existence was when they tried to find out from him what girls Thor liked. He'd thought Sif was different, but apparently she was just as blinded by bright blue eyes and big shoulders as all the rest.

"So you're okay with it?" she asked and laughed again. "I mean, it's a bit strange, isn't it?"

"No, no, not really, not that strange," he managed to say with something approaching a normal tone of voice, even through what felt like a heavy weight on his chest. "At least you know how much of a jerk he can be, so you're prepared."

Her smile seemed more natural. "True enough. And I don't want this to spoil anything between us? You and I, we'll always be friends, right?"

"Of course," he answered, swallowing back how badly he wanted to throw up. Why was it the very instant he realized he didn't want to be 'just friends' was when anything more was pulled right out of his reach? He had to get away from her before he blurted out something he'd regret. "I was, uh, looking for my mom. And I have to practice. So I guess I'll see you. Have a good night," he forced himself to say politely.

"You, too," Sif wished him and he backed away from her, raising a hand to wave and then feeling profoundly stupid for the gesture.

She looked so lovely standing there in the middle of the front hall. She was suddenly a woman, and he felt like such an awkward _boy_. Really, it was no wonder she would look twice at Thor, who was already big and muscled and his voice had settled into an amazing baritone...

He heard that voice greet her behind him, as he headed down the long corridor to the back of the house, and his pace increased until he was nearly running.

The counter in the kitchen stopped him and he fetched up against it, clutching the stone edges, panting.

Frigga was in there, conferring with Mary, and frowned at him in concern. "Loki? Is everything all right?"

"Fine," he answered. No, nothing was fine. Nothing at all. His brother and his best friend were dating, and would probably fall in love and make beautiful babies, and be happy together. And he was always going to be on the outside looking in at them. His heart hurt at the idea and he knew he couldn't watch it all happen.

Frigga's keen, kind eyes examined his face, and when he wouldn't look at her, she didn't believe him. With a hand on his shoulder, she coaxed him outside to the kitchen garden. It always was so peaceful here, with the scent of the herbs and jasmine floating on the air, as the sun cast golden rays across the wall of the house and the climbing peas on their trellis. He was finally able to draw a full breath as Frigga trimmed some basil. When she handed the sprigs to him to hold, she asked, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Nothing. I decided, I want to go to the Conservatory program after all," he declared abruptly.

She lowered the small shears to frown at him in confusion. "But you said you didn't want to be so far away…" She'd encouraged him to go, telling him that he should explore his talent in a place more accepting of his quirks than his usual school. He'd refused because it was in America, but now being away seemed like a good thing. "Why did you change your mind?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I thought about it and you were right. I want to learn violin, plus _someone_ in this family should know something about music theory and composition, even if all Thor wants to do is sing well enough to get girls."

He said it with his usual disdain and rolled his eyes as if he were joking, but it wasn't funny. Not now. Because now Thor had the only girl who'd ever mattered; the only one who'd ever seemed to see Loki for himself, rather than just Thor's weird little brother or Odin Borsson's troublemaking younger son.

But he didn't want to watch Thor and Sif make gooey eyes at each other all summer. Maybe he could convince his father to let him stay in the London flat, so he could practice piano and write in peace. Music was what truly mattered, not his stupid hormones abruptly deciding Sif was attractive. It was a stupid schoolboy crush, and he had better things to think about.

Frigga nodded, though her expression remained skeptical that she was getting the entire explanation. Thankfully she didn't press him for more, only promised to call the program director the next day and then asked him to snip some parsley in the fading light.

While he did that, he was resolutely not thinking about Sif and Thor leaving for their dinner together. Or how his hand would touch her leg during the movie. Or how Thor would probably kiss her and comb his fingers through those black silky strands of her hair. And she would like it and kiss him back, because Thor did everything well. Then he would touch her…

No. He wasn't going to think about that. Though jealousy was a sudden sick tangle in his stomach, he would pretend not to care. If he pretended long enough, eventually it would be true.

* * *

 

end. 


End file.
